


I THINK I'M FINALLY WORN (i've been a forest fire)

by sakurasgf (sanacult)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/F, Love Confessions, Post-War, Rejection, Relationship Study, Unrequited Love, mentioned SasuSaku, plant/flower imagery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29314641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanacult/pseuds/sakurasgf
Summary: Ino was too young to realize what she felt for Sakura all these years ago, when they were both big-eyed and playing house with other children from the neighbourhood, but she knows what it was right now and it scares her just for how long it has been going on. She was seven and growing, eight and blossoming, nine and withering. Sakura threw her away like a bored child throws out an old toy, and Ino was alone and sad and so frustrated that she saw the world in the very same crimson she saw in Takigakure. It kept her going for years, anger rooting itself at the bottom of her stomach and ramifying through her body. She was an overgrown forest and every single tree in it was left to rot from the heart by the blight of jealousy.Or; Ino blooms and withers for Sakura.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	I THINK I'M FINALLY WORN (i've been a forest fire)

There is a plant hidden in the parts of Takigakure not many people have access to that blooms only once in its lifetime. It takes years to grow, only to bear one vibrant-colored flower and die after a week. Ino has seen it once, as a little girl travelling with her father, and the image hasn't left her mind ever since. The flower was a vivid red, and as Ino stood in front of it, it started gradually losing its petals and turning brown. The very nice botanic who was overseeing the whole process invited her for the next blooming, to which Ino absentmindedly nodded. 

And she has seen the flower grow and wither all over again without ever again putting her eyes on it; she was the growing bud and the blossoming flower and the falling leaves and the nice botanic taking care of it and the little girl watching. And Sakura was the forgetful planter and the small seed and the soil keeping her alive and the mortar and pestle mincing the leftovers for medicine and the poisoned patient drinking it. (But then she chose poison over and over until it seeped into her soul.)

Ino was too young to realize what she felt for Sakura all these years ago, when they were both big-eyed and playing house with other children from the neighbourhood, but she knows what it was right now and it scares her just for how long it has been going on. She was seven and growing, eight and blossoming, nine and withering. Sakura threw her away like a bored child throws out an old toy, and Ino was alone and sad and  _ so frustrated  _ that she saw the world in the very same crimson she saw in Takigakure. It kept her going for years, anger rooting itself at the bottom of her stomach and ramifying through her body. She was an overgrown forest and every single tree in it was left to rot from the heart by the blight of jealousy. 

But then they were twelve and Sakura knocked her out cold and plunged a new seed into the ground of Ino’s heart with her fist. Ino was growing again, watered by Sakura’s pointless visits to the flower shop, warmed by small, accidental touches and nourished by all the nice words. They never talked about what had divided them years ago, about  _ who _ divided them, and Ino was more than okay with it, because she was sure that at some point she'd tell Sakura she was wrong about who Ino likes, and that was a reality she couldn't have faced back then. So she continued to exist around Sakura like nothing bad ever happened to them and she grew and grew until Sakura latched onto her on one joint mission like a drowning man to a lifeline and Ino’s heart almost broke out of her ribcage and the bud inside her blossomed yet again, bigger, brighter and longer-lived. 

And then Sasuke left the village and she found Sakura on the floor of her room crying and repeating she loves him and Ino knew she had to wither again at some point. So she let her arms fall around Sakura, limp and heavy like dead leaves and held her for the last time, she promised herself. Because withering hurts to the very core, no matter what her mother had told her in the flower shop. 

And so, she tried to forget, to move on, to cut down every sprout of feelings towards Sakura. There have been other girls along the way that were like herbicides of sort; there was Tenten, loud and strong and skilled and good at making Ino blush; there was Masami who showed her around Sunagakure after the second chunin exam and kissed her cheek before saying goodbye and made Ino think about her for another month; there was Ume from a village in the middle of nowhere who was her  _ first _ . But none of them helped her forget for more than a few months. And Ino knows it was selfish and unfair to use others as means to sort out her own problems, but there  _ were  _ genuine feelings involved with all of them; Ino’s mind was just overgrown with  _ Sakura, Sakura, Sakura. _

There was a month, right after the war, when Sakura wouldn't leave her side. They worked together at the hospital for the whole day, went to sleep at Ino’s place since it was closer, and spent the weekends in the flower shop. She laughed more, was softer on the edges, no more had bags under her eyes. And Ino was happy for her, all complicated, repressed feelings aside — she was Sakura’s friend first and foremost, and seeing her get better made Ino feel a ton lighter. She was content with this, ready to float in Sakura's orbit. And then Sasuke left again and Sakura got herself drunk and cried into Ino’s neck and then kissed her before passing out. The kiss, bitter like alcohol, planted something in her heart and it veiled the muscle in thorns and pressed, merciless. And it was too much. 

So that's why she's sitting on the small bench in front of the sweet chestnuts booth and waits for Sakura to come back with their order. When she settles down and hands Ino tea before putting the food between them, Ino takes a deep breath. “I'm in love with you,” she says, gripping her cup tighter. She doesn't wince when she hears Sakura choke on a chestnut, only waits until she stops. “Have been since before the Academy.” 

“Ino, I—”

“I know.” She doesn't dare to look at Sakura, to see what may lurk in her eyes. She'd rather remain oblivious. Warm wind divides her ponytail in two, each part landing on her shoulder. It feels almost like a hug. Ino smiles gently, despite the storm in her mind. “Don't worry, I'll get over it, eventually. I never stood a chance against Sasuke-kun anyway, didn't I?” 

“I thought you did, once.” Sakura’s words feel like a scythe cutting her down. “But Hinata told me that you and Tenten… So I gave up, I guess. Went back to thinking about Sasuke and stayed that way.” She looks down at the ring on her finger. “I wanted to ask you to be my maid of honour.” 

The thorns move to her throat, but Ino has been through worse. “Of course. We're best friends, after all, aren't we?” 

“Yeah, we are. Best friends.” 

And when Ino withers that night, curled up in her bed, she wishes the thorns could pierce her completely instead of feeling reborn, free, like others said it would feel like. But it was bound to happen, wasn't it? She's a Yamanaka, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> first of all ino im so sorry second of all special thanks to mitski for writing the burning hill


End file.
